light__blue

hey boy

i originally planned on writing this for you the day after you died. that was a while ago.

i caught myself thinking about you while i was out on saturday night. it was loud and smoky and full of people dancing and you would have hated it. but i couldnt help but imagine you being there with me. it was weird.

i think about you at random times. sometimes it's less random. pulling into the garage still feels weird without you there waiting outside the door. coming home isnt the same without you complaining that i was gone for too long.

being at home is lonely now.

i walk to the dog park and i imagine you going for a walk with me. i remember times when youd be so excited that i went outside with you. i was looking at the trees at home where you used to climb for me. it reminded me of the time you got stuck in the ceiling.

you have your own tree now. your mom painted a stone for you to put next to it. but she spelled your name blu, which still annoys me. anyway you have your own spot now. its at the back until the tree grows too much but then we'll put you next to the deck where theres a lot of sun.

itll help me remember, and i guess that will have to be enough. i'll sit in the sun with your tree next to me instead of you lying by my feet. i'll play your song on my headphones and remember what it was like to sing to you.

and on nights like tonight, when i'm alone and feel lost and my world starts spinning a bit, i'll remember what it was like to have you sleeping next to me. how the sound of your purrs made everything make sense.

i'll miss you, light__blue